At the peak of tension, there is a desire to understand what is happening. At this point, there comes an awareness of the moment, where calendar days, all affairs and meetings, loved ones and enemies — everything crumbles into a heap, mingling with each other. A state resembling vestibular dizziness in the sensation of imaginary movement, the fall and swaying of surrounding objects and itself in space. Here it becomes nauseating cramped and you need to ground yourself in order to save yourself from total collapse. Consciousness seeks comfort in memories. These thoughts are nothing more than a list of all that I managed to acquire, and the upcoming opportunities to take more. They create only the illusion of stability. An annoying consumer desire to be confident in the future will never allow to see the present.